Lemon #2. Praise the improvement
Why don’t we use praise instead of condemnation? Let us praise even the slightest improvement. That inspires the other person to keep on improving.
Jess Lair says: «Praise is like sunlight to the warm human spirit; we can’t flower and grow without it. And yet, while most of us are only too ready to apply to others the cold wind of criticism, we’re somehow reluctant to give our fellow the warm sunshine of praise».
Everybody likes to be praised, but when praise is specific, it comes across as sincere – not something the other person may be saying just to make one feel good. Remember, we all crave appreciation and recognition, and will do almost anything to get it. But nobody wants insincerity. Nobody wants flattery.
These principles will only work when they come from the heart. This is not just a bag of tricks. This is a new way of life. Talking about changing people. If you and I will inspire the people with whom we come in contact to a realization of the hidden treasures they possess, we can do far more than changing people. We can literally transform them.
Yes, you who are reading these lines possess powers of various sorts which you habitually fail to use; and one of these powers you’re probably not using to the fullest extent is your magic ability to praise people and inspire them with a realization of their latent possibilities.
Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be ‘hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise’.
Dale Carnegie @ How to win friends and influence people.